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Why Do I Pull Out My Hair?: Living With Trichotillomania

Living with trichotillomania means facing a daily challenge that some people find difficult to understand. The constant, overpowering urge to pull out your hair can be both distressing and isolating. If you or someone you know is experiencing this compulsion, you know all too well the cycle of stress, hair pulling, and the subsequent emotional fallout. 

 

Trichotillomania is often hidden in secrecy and can lead to significant hair loss, emotional distress, and a feeling of helplessness. You’re not alone in this struggle; many people suffer from the compulsive urge to pull out their own hair, yet it remains a misunderstood and under-discussed condition.

 

At Daniel Alain, we have a deep understanding of the effects of hair loss, including trichotillomania. For over two decades, we’ve worked closely with customers experiencing hair loss and hair thinning and helped them find a human hair wig or topper that suits their style, hair loss situation, and lifestyle.

 

If you’re looking to gain a better understanding of trichotillomania, read some real-life experiences living with the condition, and explore effective strategies for managing the compulsion to pull hair, you’re in the right place.

 

Our goal is to empower you with knowledge and tools, as you navigate this challenging journey with confidence and hope. Whether you’re directly affected by trichotillomania or supporting someone who is, this article promises to be a valuable resource in understanding and addressing this complex condition.

 


 

 


 

Understanding Trichotillomania

 

Trichotillomania is more than just a habit or a bad behavior. It's a complex disorder that can significantly impact a person's emotional and psychological well-being.

 

People with trichotillomania often feel a growing tension before pulling their hair and experience a sense of relief or gratification afterward. However, this relief is usually temporary and is often followed by feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

 

Trichotillomania can affect anyone, but it's more commonly seen in females than males. The onset of the disorder typically occurs in childhood or adolescence, and it can be triggered by stress or trauma. However, the exact cause is unknown and is believed to involve a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

 

Like many sufferers, Elyssa’s journey with trichotillomania began when she was 14 years old and about to begin her freshman year of high school. A long and stressful family road trip was the trigger that led to the compulsive desire to pull out her hair.

 

trick2Optimized

 

“I had thick, curly, blond hair, down past my waist,” Elyssa recalls, “but a few months after that road trip, I had lost about two thirds of it to trich. I didn’t want to date, I didn’t want to hang out with my friends, I didn’t want anyone to find out that I was pulling out my own hair.”

 


 

Trichotillomania Symptoms and Behaviors

 

trich1Optimized

 

  • Recurrent pulling of hair: This pulling results in noticeable hair loss. Common areas include the scalp, eyebrows, and eyelashes.

 

  • Increasing tension: A feeling of tension or anxiety often precedes the act of hair pulling.

 

  • Pleasure, gratification, or relief: Individuals may feel these emotions during or after pulling out hair.

 

  • Attempts to stop: Many people with trichotillomania have made repeated attempts to stop pulling hair.

 


 

Emotional aspect of Trichotillomania

 

For many people suffering from trichotillomania, the associated emotions are often as complex and challenging as the physical act of hair pulling itself. The compulsion often leaves people feeling trapped in a cycle of shame and embarrassment.

 

As Elyssa explains, “I put on a brave face, but deep down I felt ugly and unlovable. It was an isolating and lonely time and my hair-pulling seemed to affect every part of my life growing up. I felt like I was never going to look like other young girls.”

 

Elyssa-wearing-hoodie

 

The experience of shame is a common and deeply felt emotion among those living with trichotillomania. Unlike other forms of hair loss that can be attributed to factors beyond one's control, like genetics or illness, trichotillomania is a condition where the individual actively pulls out their own hair. This can lead to feelings of shame and self-blame, as sufferers may feel responsible for their hair loss and struggle with the perception that it's a habit they should be able to simply stop. 

 

However, it's crucial to recognize that trichotillomania is a complex disorder driven by compulsions that are incredibly powerful and often beyond conscious control. The urge to pull hair is not a choice or a simple lack of willpower; it's a part of a serious mental health condition. Recognizing and understanding this can help reduce the burden of shame.

 


 

Coping strategies for Trichotillomania

 

Living with trichotillomania often requires a mix of different coping strategies to manage the condition effectively. One key approach is behavioral therapy, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps in identifying triggers and replacing the hair-pulling behavior with healthier habits.

 

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can also be valuable in reducing stress and increasing awareness of the urge to pull. 

 

elyssa-2

 

Many people find keeping their hands busy helpful in redirecting their focus away from pulling out their hair. Consider:

 

  • Knitting
  • Drawing/doodling
  • Fidget toys/stress balls
  • Playing a musical instrument
  • Jigsaw puzzles
  • Practicing calligraphy or hand-lettering

 

Covering the hair can also be an effective strategy to prevent access and reduce the temptation to pull. Here are some methods for covering the hair:

 

  • Wigs
  • Hats and beanies
  • Scarves and headwraps
  • Bandanas
  • Hooded sweatshirts
  • Headbands or wide hair bands

 

Elyssa-shaving-head

 

While it’s not for everyone, Elyssa decided to shave her head and start wearing wigs to help deal with the urge to pull out her hair. Wearing a natural-looking human hair wig became integral to accepting her trichotillomania and allowed her to release the negative feelings of self-worth and shame she was experiencing. Looking at herself in the mirror with a full head of beautiful, healthy hair was life-changing. “Being able to feel like me again, was magical.”

 

elyssa-with-bun-1

 

Tracking pulling behaviors can be another valuable tool in managing trichotillomania. By maintaining a record of hair-pulling episodes, people can gain a clearer understanding of their triggers and patterns. This awareness can be instrumental in developing strategies to reduce the frequency and intensity of the urges. Here are a few methods to effectively track pulling behaviors:

 

  • Journaling: Keep a detailed journal where you note the time, location, emotional state, and circumstances surrounding each pulling episode. This can help identify specific patterns and triggers.

 

  • Mobile Apps: There are apps designed for habit tracking that can be customized for monitoring trichotillomania. These apps often include features like reminders, progress tracking, and visualization tools.

 

  • Calendar Method: Using a physical or digital calendar to mark the days and times when pulling occurs. This visual representation can highlight trends and high-risk periods.

 

  • Behavioral Charts: Creating charts that log pulling episodes, including the duration and intensity of each episode. This can be particularly useful in therapy or when working with a healthcare provider.

 


 

What are my next steps in my journey with Trichotillomania?

 

If you’re living with trichotillomania, you may have experienced moments where the urge to pull hair felt uncontrollable, leaving you with a sense of defeat and powerlessness. This path has likely been challenging, marked by a search for understanding and ways to manage your condition.

 

This article has outlined the complexities of this condition, the emotions tied to it. We've explored various coping strategies, from behavioral therapy to mindfulness, and the importance of keeping your hands busy and your head covered.

 

Looking ahead, if you want to restore your look after hair loss caused by trichotillomania, or want to prevent further loss by covering your head and are considering buying your first human hair wig, we would be honored to help you in your search for the perfect piece.

 

We have spent decades helping women regain their confidence by wearing the hair of their dreams, and our experienced consultants are waiting to help you discover the transformative power of the right wig. Booking an appointment for a consultation is the perfect way to start your journey. We look forward to helping you.

 

 

 

 

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Samantha F.
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I recently lost my hair in a horse accident, but Daniel Alain was quick to help me out. I bought 3 toppers and I love all of them. They suit me extremely well, and I will forever be grateful. Thank you very much.

Hi Samantha! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. We're truly honored to be part of your hair journey and so happy to hear that you love your Follea by Daniel Alain hair toppers. Knowing they help you feel confident and comfortable means everything to us. Thank you for trusting Daniel Alain!

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Jessica A.
Ashley is wonderful!

Very impressed with the quality of service and quality of the hair piece!! Five stars!! Don’t waste time anywhere else.

Hello Jessica,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Ashley. We strive to be apart of every step of your journey, to ensure you have the best experience possible.

Love, The Daniel Alain Team

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Jenna D.
Unbelievable Experience

I was new to alternative hair and hit my rock bottom and realized I couldn’t put off a wig any longer. Ashley is absolutely incredible. She’s patient, knowledgeable, and so accommodating. She knew how vulnerable I felt and allowed me to take my time and get a piece I would be happiest with.

I am so grateful for this experience and I’m glad I found follea before being too traumatized elsewhere!

Truly, stop looking and buy the wig.

Dear Jenna,
Thank you so much for sharing your consultation experience with Ashley. It brings us so much joy to know she was able to help you find a piece that is best for you. We strive to help women feel comfortable and confident during there hair journey.

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Bridget H.
Very helpful

We’ve been seeing a lot of hair loss in our clients due to Covid. Intact has helped to significantly reduce the shed! Our clients love it and so does the salon plumbing!

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Tara T.
Fear to FABULOUS!!

Ladies, if you’re asking yourself…”why is this so expensive in comparison to other options?”…don’t and take the plunge. You will know why INSTANTLY when you open it up! This purchase is for YOU to gain your confidence back, to feel pretty and to walk with pride so it’s worth it! We all spend so much on nothing, our kids, stupid things…We are worth investing in ourselves! I’m a first time buyer of a wig and I’m 51 yo. No current cancer or no chemo, just ruined my hair with extensions for many years. I experienced so much denial, fear, and much sadness but…Janet, what an angel…walked me through it, didn’t pressure me and was so incredibly patient with answering all my questions…she made me come to the realization how bad extensions are on your hair and if I’m going to try and see if I can regrow my hair, I need to take the extensions out, allow my head and follicles to breath naturally….all sounds like a good idea right? It was hard for me to realize this and knowing that I’d have to rely solely on a wig now at 51yo! But! As I mentioned above, it is worth it and I feel fabulous! It is so natural looking, it moves with you, it’s comfortable, and not crazy hot! You can style it however you want! I never write reviews but felt this was probably the most important one I could ever write in an effort to help someone else either like me who was afraid of needing a wig, or someone who is simply considering a new one from this company. And most of all, you are never alone through this journey. Janet is reachable and so helpful even after you receive it! I’m on the other side of the country from California and we went on this journey all via zoom and FaceTime! I’d you’re considering this, do it! They also graciously give you 7 days to decide, just keep it intact and no modifications and send it back for your money back or exchange! I didn’t mention that I purchased the “style” model and am extremely happy with it. I’ve only had it a week but wow, I’m me again and in minutes flat, I’m ready to go and look like I stepped out of the salon! If you’ve read this all, I wish you luck and congratulations on getting a new you…a gorgeous you, full of confidence!🤗

Dear Tara,

Your review closely touch all of our hearts and we can hope it does the same for others. We are pleased to know Janet was and is able to help you on your journey. Janet is a valuable asset here at Daniel Alain and to all the people she helps. Your kind words and review are the reason we strive to offer the absolute best quality human hair wigs and toppers. We are honored to be apart of your journey and re-gained self confidence.

Thank you for sharing your vulnerable and inspiring experience.

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With Love, The Daniel Alain Team.

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Kelly B.
amazing customer service

I cant say enough good things about the customer service I received from Janet. I was nervous cause it was my first time ordering from you on top of that I was getting a custom color, not only was the color spot on, but Janet was sooo patient walking me thru the process
I never felt rushed or hurried to make a decision, honestly she was a dream to work with. Now I'm thinking about the next one I'm going to get;)

Dear Kelly,

Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. We are glad to know Janet was able to be such a helpful and supportive part of your wig journey. Janet will always be glad to help with any and all questions and concerns you have.

We want to personally invite you to be apart of our @Follea Instagram community where you can Learn, Share, and Grow with other Follea Friends.

Thank you again!
With Love, The Daniel Alain Team

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Felicia J.C.
This is a great wig!

I absolutely love this wig and I wear it with tons of confidence! I purchased my Daniel Alain Follea Style wig on 12/24/20 and it still looks great! I wear wigs regularly due to hair loss and own other good quality wigs but once purchasing this one it has become my favorite wig and I have been wearing it about 5 days a week for over a year and a half. I wash and style it about once a week, use the best hair products available, style it with a T3 curling iron and even had it colored. I admit it is easier to style when on a stand but I have become pretty good at it and have not damaged it one bit, it still looks heathy and so soft. I wear it up, down, braided and even a pony tail, I do have to be a little creative when wearing it up but basically you can do with it whatever you would if it were your own natural hair.
I still love it so much and there is plenty of wear left but I thought it was time for a change and get a new one. When I went on line to look at styles again I realized I never reviewed it and that is why I am reviewing it now. Oh I almost forgot to mention how light and comfortable it is. I have worn it up to 18 hours, slept in it and even wear it on the beach without it feeling hot and sweaty, it really does not feel like you are wearing a wig. If you are on the fence about purchasing a Daniel Alain wig I can tell you it is a very good quality wig and you won't be sorry. Here are a few pics of me styling it and wearing it in different styles, the one of me in blue was last week and about 2 months after coloring it.

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Stacy C.
Simply the Best

I get so many compliments on this wig. The Cappuccino color is so beautiful! I feel so confident when I wear her. I’ve worn so many of the years and I finally feel like I’ve found the one.

Dear Stacy,

We couldn't be happier to hear how beautiful and confident you feel in your new Follea! It warms our hearts to be apart, and a positive affect during your hair loss journey.

We invite you to join our @Follea community on Instagram, to learn best practices for your new Follea. Thank you so much!

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Ruth T.

Beautiful wigs and the best customer service!!

Dear, Ruth
Thank you so much for your kind words! We take comfort in knowing you were pleased with the help and assistance you received during this process.
Xoxo, The Daniel Alain Team

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M. T.W.
Easy Beauty!

My Follea Style (6-11) is in all honesty the most comfortable wig I've ever worn - and I hate anything on my head! This wig just... goes where it's supposed to, no pulling it this way or that, no realizing your doggone wig is crooked.. AFTER you walk in to work. This success is in no small part to the Fit Kit I was sent to make sure of my size. 😊

Also, to say the hair is beautiful gives beauty a bad name. The hair is stunning. (I wear color Latte.) My consultant, Ashley, virtually took my hand to guide me through the process of buying my wig. Her help was and still is invaluable.

My hairdresser is very comfortable styling wigs. She created just the right "style" for my Style. That said, even straight from the box, Follea rocks!

Reading your Follea experience warms our hearts, our goal and mission is to help women all over the world feel beautiful, confident and like their best self. Ashley is an amazing and knowlegable guide, that will continue to be with you on your hair journey!

We invite you to join our @Follea community on Instagram, to learn best practices for your new Follea.

Thank you very much!

Love,

Daniel Alain Team

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Kimberlee B.
Wig #6

The ready to wear wig I received from Daniel Alain is beautiful. The packaging was so respectful of the wig. So impressed. I called with questions before purchasing and the staff was very kind and respectful as Loosing my hair was so unexpected and stressful. Thank you for wonderful customer service and a beautiful wig. So many compliments on how it makes me look. Thank you.

We are honored and so glad to hear you had a pleasant experience! Thank you or trusting us to help you during your hair-loss journey.

Follea René

Ive had my follea Rene, 12 inch in the color Vienna, for almost a week and I love it more every day. I feel like a new woman, so confident and beautiful again. This wig has given me a bounce in my step again. It’s so soft, silky, doesn’t matte like my other wigs and feels like it is coming right out of my own head. Cynthia at follea did a virtual visit explaining everything, answering all my questions and sent me samples of wig caps and color swatches to try on. The process was stress free and exciting. Will definitely purchase another follea for sure.

Hi Nikki,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write this review for us. We are so glad to know that you are loving our René wig and more importantly, feeling like confident and beautiful again! Please tag us #danielalain in any photos we'd love to share your amazing look on our website and/or social media platforms.

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Mercedes
Style 10 Inch Color 5005 Macchiato (comes with a soft rooting)

This is my first wig but not my first attempt with alternative hair. Its been a journey and one I knew I wanted to take with Follea. I was not wrong. The hair is silky soft and beautifully shiny. The staff is great and wonderful to work with. Their online consultation process is just what I needed. I received sample caps to try on to determine which size is the right size for me. I received color swatches as well to make the color selection process was a breeze. It does make a difference to see to the colors in person, dont be afraid to ask for color swatches. To see them against the light or while your home is worth it. All this happened after the online consultation, which was simple and fun. The rep provided samples of everything, explained the differences with each one. This helped me make a decision on what was right for me. Getting the samples of the wig caps and color swatches was a fun part of the experience but it also made me feel good about my decisions. I often worry about getting the wrong size and color. Once I was set ( and yes I changed my mind a bit) we went forward with the order. After I received my wig and cut the lace, the team was still there to help me with any questions I had.

Overall a great online purchasing experience. Once I received my Follea, I instantly knew this was it for me. I loved it and I was confident to wear it out.

Feeling Myself and Happy with a beautiful Follea Style, 10", Irish Cream

There are no words to fully express how grateful I am for finding Follea and meeting Janet. Her kindness combined with a professional, yet so gentle, advice helped me to find my beautiful natural looking European hair. Janet patiently showed me different styles and sizes (my head is so small!). She has never pushed me to anything. Only offered support and help on the way to my decision, and eventually ordered (incredibly urgently) the right size. I wish all patients to meet someone like Janet on their way! Before I found Follea, I faced a few horrible pushy people who wanted to make money of my sensitive, fragile situation of suddenly losing hair.
Today, I can face the Universe with a smile, again. I am back to work and normal life, interacting with people, attending important business meetings. Letting my health recover in calm confident state.
Thank You to Follea and Janet. May the Blessing and Kindness come back to You Multiplied Million Times.
I am already thinking of ordering a second Follea Style (bit longer this time). Every girl needs a special occasion HAIR! I have found mine.

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erin g.
Looooove me some FOLLEA!!!

Girl I love my new wig!!!!!! I feel like Beyoncé wearing it, you can’t even tell that it’s a wig! My confidence is an all new high and I feel fierce. Thanks to Janet for making my hair dreams come true. Xoxoxo

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Heather L.
Follea's Petite

Recently, I bought the Petite in Chai Latte blonde with a natural-looking darker root and customized my piece by adding a few wispy bangs. If you are like me and try to stretch the length of time between washes to prevent an itchy scalp and breakage, this little priceless gem is a quick four clips away from a good hair day.

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Diane B.
Great Customer Services

Great customer services! Received in a timely manner. Very happy with my topper, especially after I trimmed bangs and length to fix my own hair.

Hello Diane,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write this review for us. We are very happy to receive your feedback. Please tag us #danielalain in any photos we'd love to share your amazing look on our website and/or social media platforms.
Feel free to contact us at 1.949.706.9880 or reviews@danielalain.com.

XO